Thursday, January 26, 2012


Sometimes in life we are forced to “take a break.” Unwillingly, we drop what we love and face the inevitable.

Through all the workings, it is still there, hidden in the deep recesses of our minds -- what we most love, what seared us with passion, and its voice, though faint, begs us to come, to rise, and to never let go because it is what comprises us to be who we really are and should be.

After only entering three posts in my blog, life had dealt me something unexpected. My only kin here, an aunt, who had been a second mom to me was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. She was a nurse, no kids and a non-smoker, and I was left baffled by how cancer rapidly consumed her body to deterioration. One minute, she looked stronger than her younger sisters. The next minute, a short walk to the mailbox proved arduous to her.

I was unprepared. And I guess nothing about cancer could really prepare you for it. Yet, I did what I must--dutifully commuting two hours to where she was at--cooking for her, assisting her, and as much as possible did everything I could to make it easy for her. After a long exhausting day, and numerous days after that, with suppressed tears finally making its way, I journey back home to my husband and kids, my source of comfort.

During this time, I have let go of putting entries into my blog. I also let go of finishing my manuscript. No amount of concentration could get me to write.

When my beloved aunt passed away a few months ago, I learned that she had accumulated six month’s worth of vacation time. They were all unused. Why had she done this? Was she waiting for the right time to use them? Why had she waited so long?

Her decision of foregoing time for herself would always fill my mind, and it became my stimulus to change…to waste no more time…to see what‘s out there…and to fulfill my purpose as a writer. It is my hope to never tire, to be back into blogging once again, to write more, to be of help and get to know fellow bloggers and non-bloggers out there because all I am given is one chance and it is my aim to spend it wisely.